A diagnosis dilemma

Thanks to those who commented on my first blog entry.  I appreciate your input.  I also wanted to share that about a week and a half ago I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder, which was surprising at first but does explain a lot of the emotional difficulties I have dealt with.  Since the revelation, I have been feeling much more compassion for myself and not being as hard on myself about things, but I am also a bit worried about the possibility that I will identify with having bipolar and hiding behind that sense of identity to avoid taking true responsibility for myself.  I also started taking a mood stabilizer and worry a bit about whether I will use it as a crutch once it starts to take effect in a few weeks.

However, in moments of presence, I can realize that to worry about this is pointless, because if I try to stop myself from identifying with this, then I will just reinforce it.  Its the same thing as trying to stop myself from feeling that there is something wrong with me.  Its just the ego trying to stop itself from being a resistant ego, which is just more ego and can only lead to more resistance.  So, in the moment I can just allow all of this to be there without trying to get rid of it.  We will see how this goes....